


You Had To Ask

by likesflowers



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern: No Powers, Gen, Kid Bruce Banner, Kid Clint Barton, Kid Natasha Romanov, Parent Steve Rogers, Seriously Who Puts Empty Eggs Cartons Back in the Fridge, Tired Steve Rogers, Tired Suburban Dad Steve Rogers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-14
Updated: 2018-09-14
Packaged: 2019-07-12 04:58:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,218
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15988109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/likesflowers/pseuds/likesflowers
Summary: As the only parental unit to five teens/tweens, Steve Rogers finds even a promising morning provides more than enough cause for his trademark nose-pinch-and-sigh.





	You Had To Ask

Steve wakes up to his alarm, five hours and twenty-two minutes after he set it. Since there appears to be no clogged plumbing, missing hairbrushes, suspicious smoke smells, or escaped-tarantula false alarms--at least not yet--he even stands a chance at getting breakfast before he heads to work, for the first time in over ten days. He throws on his work clothes, grabs a tie, and heads downstairs to the kitchen. 

 

Clint is sitting on top of the counter, feet on the barstool as he watches cartoons and absentmindedly eats his cereal. He has a feather in his hair. Steve assumes it’s from the goose-down comforter he got last year on his 11th birthday, but he makes an executive decision not to ask. Instead, plucks it out as he passes by, disguising the move as a ruffle of the boy’s hair. He’s seen haystacks neater than it, even without the feather.

 

“Da-ad!” Clint whines around his fruit loops. “I’m trying to watch TV!”

 

“You know you’re not supposed to watch cartoons before school,” he says, but he doesn’t have the energy to track down the remote and enforce the rule.

 

Steve turns on the coffee maker as he heads to the fridge. He can have eggs today, real over-easy eggs on toast that he can eat at a table. Maybe even with a glass of orange juice. It would be like heaven.

 

He grabs the carton of eggs, thinking it’s suspiciously light. Sure enough, he opens it to find it entirely empty. 

 

Again. That’s the third time this month.

 

He sighs and tosses the empty carton into the overflowing recycling bin in the corner. Toast with jam it is. There is plenty of orange marmalade because everyone else in the house thinks it’s vile. Thank god for small favors. The milk carton looks almost empty too, but there’s enough of a dribble for his coffee, at least. He closes the fridge door and reaches for the bread. 

 

Steve's checking his work email on default while he waits for his toast. There’s a message from Bruce's science teacher. Steve opens it. It's about paying for damaged equipment used outside of class hours.

 

“Bruce!” He yells. 

 

Bruce thunders down the stairs, comb still in hand but more or less ready for class. At fourteen, he’s looking less and less like a beanpole; Steve is expecting him to fill out the height with bulk any day now. That’ll be another five hundred dollars to get clothes that fit, since he completely refuses to wear Thor’s hand-me-downs.

 

Bruce is blinking owlishly behind his glasses; he is a terrible liar, so he probably doesn’t actually know why Steve is hollering for him. “What happened in chem lab?” Steve asks.

 

Bruce explains. He had a theory and the teacher gave him permission to be in the lab, and it's totally just bad luck that the zoology club was testing some sonar thing with bats at the same time and it must have been at just the right resonant frequency for the slightly heated glass to explode, who'd have thought? But at least he recorded the results before the goo got everywhere and ate through the legs of the stool.

 

“Bats? Seriously?” Steve paused. “And why were you working with something corrosive without supervision?”

 

Silence.

 

“Did you even tell your teacher what you were doing?”

 

“She knew I was in the lab.” Bruce didn’t meet his eyes.

 

Steve sighed. “Bruce, you've...jeez. Did it not occur to you that lab safety rules exist for a reason? Jesus. This equipment isn't cheap, it's coming out of your allowance.”

 

“Not like you give us an allowance anyway,” Clint grumbles from his seat on the counter.

 

Steve answered without looking. “Hey. You start pulling your weight with the chores, I'll start giving you allowance again. I've asked you to take out the recycling every week for 2 months straight, and there is STILL a pile of pizza boxes in the mud room. In fact, it's Thursday. Take that crap out right now, they'll be here at 10 for the weekly pickup.”

 

Clint shrugs and puts his dirty bowl in the sink without rinsing it then wanders in the direction of the mudroom. Steve would put money on those pizza boxes still being there when he walks by in twenty minutes.

 

Nat comes downstairs, hair in the even braid she’s finally mastered. She’s got her favorite necklace on, the arrow one Clint got her for her seventh birthday. Her face is at least 75% eyes. Steve is immediately suspicious. 

 

“Daddy? Can you sign my permission slip? Miss Maria said we needed it by today.” She hands him a form, neatly folded in half. 

 

He glances at it. Field trip to the water treatment plant, today, with--”Early dismissal? Nat, I've got meetings late tonight, I can't get you at 2:30. I can't get you until 6.”

 

“But Daddy, if I don't go on the field trip I'll have to write a really boring report instead and I really, really wanted to go!”

 

Steve sighs, pinches his nose. “Thor can pick you up at 3, on his way to practice. I'll call the coach so he knows he’ll be a little late.”

 

Nat frowns. It’s completely adorable and she knows it. “But I can't do my homework if I'm sitting in the bleachers watching Thor do stupid pushups at the football field. I have to do research. With the internet.”

 

Steve sighs again, absently grabbing his toast out of the toaster. It’s burnt.

 

“You can either go home with Wanda and Pietro and I will come get you after I finish my quarterly review at 6, or you can go with Thor to practice and wait there. If you can't wait to do the research until you get home, ask Tony to loan you his tablet.”

 

Her nose wrinkles at that suggestion. “Ew, no, Daddy. Tony's got cooties. I don't want to touch his stuff.” 

 

Steve has run out of ideas, and more importantly, the patience to care about them. “Then wait until you get home. Now, go get your bag. The bus will be here in 5 minutes.” He dumps his burnt toast in the trash.  “Clint! Take the trash out already! I have told you a hundred times!”

 

Bruce grabs his backpack and walks Nat to the bus stop in front of the house like he does every morning. Steve can see her chatting animatedly at her brother through the window as Steve drains the last of his coffee. Once her bus comes, Bruce grabs his bike and takes off for the junior high. He’s a good brother. Steve grabs his keys. The dishes will have to wait until he gets back.

 

Thor comes in, dressed for class but with his hair sticking straight up at the back. “Is Tony staying home today?” he asks. “He's still in bed.”

 

“TONY!!!!!” Steve yells.”GET YOUR BUTT OUT OF BED NOW!!!”

 

Steve swears under his breath and drops his mug harder than he means to in the sink. The rim hits the edge of Clint’s spoon and chips. 

 

His phone rings. It's the office. There's a surprise client meeting at 9, can he come in early?

 

It's not even 7:15 yet. Steve is already done with today.

 


End file.
